Can you do better than this very poor effort? I'm sure that you can.
We present the great ballet.co limerick competition.
There are very few ballet jokes; there are even fewer ballet limericks.
Let us redress this balance! Get your thinking caps on and post your entries here.
The best ballet or dance limerick will receive the small prize on offer, a CD
"The Red Shoes: Music From The Films of Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger"

The competition will run through the month of December.
The usual conditions apply, that is the judges decision is final.

(oy)

my humble apologies I tender
my keyboard I surrender
please let me stay
I promise never again to essay
another limerick, beginning or ender

(do I dare click the "post message" button? I'll close my eyes and click the mouse.....

Most dancers are right to be wary
Of dancing the Sugar Plum Fairy.
The music's so sweet
That it should be a treat -
But those gargouillades are so scary!

After drinking a gallon of booze
Nureyev said "Entrechat douze?
Of course, nothing to it!
Beginners could do it!
I can do a quatorze if I choose."

When Siegfried had carelessly tossed her,
Tamara cried, 'He's an imposter!
I won't dance Odette
Or Odile just yet
Till you bring me back Carlos Acosta'.

A dancer performing Odette
Had an evening she'd rather forget;
At the start of Act Two,
Exactly on cue,
The theatre cat appeared on the set!

An accident-prone girl in the corps
Fell straight through an open trapdoor.
Though covered in grime,
She continued her mime
As her head reappeared through the floor.

A dancer named Thomas Edur,
Whose line is exceedingly pure,
Had plenty of jokes
With his wife, Agnes Oaks,
When dancing "Who Cares?" in Namur.

A dancer called Marie Camargo
Was asked to perform to a Largo.
But then she demurred -
'Twas allegro that ensured
Her success; now the Largo's embargoed.

How good in these days of technology
To discover this brilliant anthology.
This site of distinction
May save from extinction
The practice of limerickology.

P.S.

For this off-topic rhyme no apology.

A ballet fan cried "What's the use?
May as well put my head in a noose,
For try as I might
With my internet site,
There's a better one, managed by Bruce."

(I just can't stop writing in rhyme;
I'm doing it most of the time.
It may seem perverse
To keep writing in verse
But I don't think it counts as a crime.)

It’s sad to see “Ashton Done Down”
When he ought to be wearing the crown
For he made RB great
Now it’s in a poor state
And can only elicit a frown.

It's off to ballet class I go
Through hell, high water, or snow
No matter how I feel
With zeal faint or real
All, just to point my toe

The teacher's a real curmudgeon
Always in a high dudgeon
On the count of eight
I learn my fate
From the business end of her truncheon

(ok, I'm sorry for that but you try to find something to rhyme with "curmudgeon"!

There was a young lady called Jill,
Who said "My dancing is brill,
I can now pointe my toe
When the teacher says go
The watchers are in for a thrill"

I think this might become addictive..!

A beautiful lead ballerina,
Cried, “The Bolshoi wants me to be leaner!”
When we saw what she weighed,
The poundage displayed,
Made her sound like a dancing pipe cleaner.

(yes, I just edited my limerick -how sad is that !)

(After an exhausting class yesterday)

In reply to an earlier post, I am still working on something around the word "curmudgeon"!

(with apologies, and wishing everyone a very Happy New Year)

A happy 2004 to all ballet.co-ers

James

With a grimace, glare and pout,
The Director would yell and shout,
"You're still turned in,
"A balletic sin,"
So, I turned myself inside out.