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Subject: "On coming out" Archived thread - Read only
 
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Conferences What's Happening Topic #1823
Reading Topic #1823
Caroline Ferreira

29-06-01, 09:11 AM (GMT)
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"On coming out"
 
   ''I was quite idealistic (even naive). I believed that on-line forums could be an important tool. They were genderless, without the intrusion of race, age, or appearance. I thought anonymity was awesome.''

…stirring words which, as newly initiated 'poster' way back when, were views I adopted. I assumed most id's were fake anyway, after all names like Lilac Fairy, Odette and 711 you have to admit, are 'debatable' proper names. Jokes aside, these 'nicknames' meant as little to me as 'anonymous '(which required serious input, as I really had to concentrate to spell it correctly). However, misguided or not, I was inspired by the idea of faceless posters comfortably discussing sensitive topics, honestly. Well honestly!

Then an objection was raised. Impulsively, I reacted with indignation (apologies all round) -then sought clarification on the subject and found this!

'Happiness is not possible for those too cowardly to express their honest opinion.' - Bertrand Russell’s "The Conquest of Happiness

Regardless of how many sites advertising anonymous posting for dummies, 'respectable others' had not subscribed to the same anonymous sentiments I did. Where have I been hiding whilst the rest of the world was being enlightened?

Are there any legitimate reasons for wishing anonymity? There were 'pragmatic exceptions', according to Bertrand Russell, 'imprisonment and starvation'. Oh great. Then there is the forum moderator's comment that

''They very rarely have anything substantive to say''

I found these sobering words on a middle American School PTA on-line forum,

'In writing anonymously, you can say whatever you feel like without taking any responsibility--you can lie, you can attack, you can pretend to be something you're not.'

I HAD to question my motives.

Was I misguided by 'copycat posting' those influential chat page posters, using @work or @play or more realistically penniless@work? My pitiable e-mail address was obviously not in the same league; the crux of the matter, of course, was the accompanying 'A' word - call yourself 'Fluffy' if you have to, 'Anon' makes people mad!

But I think I have grasped the concept. It is all to do with CONTINUITY. It does not matter what you call yourself, as long as fellow posters are able to refer and relate to you under that name. Lets face it, being blamed for every 'anon' posting is not a pleasing thought, although posing as Clement Crisp or Matthew Bourne is in my mind far, far worse than anonymous.

Therefore, I have decided to come out and have registered, -under my given name, and why not! Actually, I feel a bit of a fraud, as I am just your average WMF. However, I was surprised by how few fellow posters have registered - including the poster who started all this inward self-evaluation in the first place!
OK, so I guess now I am officially myself I shall have to think of something inspiring to post -It might take a while!



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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: On coming out pmeja 29-06-01 1
     RE: On coming out Brendan McCarthymoderator 29-06-01 2
         RE: On coming out alison 29-06-01 4
  RE: On coming out Carly Gillies 29-06-01 3
     RE: On coming out Brendan McC 29-06-01 5
         RE: On coming out carly gillies 29-06-01 6
             RE: On coming out Caroline Ferreira 30-06-01 7
                 RE: On coming out Helen 30-06-01 8
                 RE: On coming out Caz 01-07-01 9
                     RE: On coming out Bruce Madmin 02-07-01 10
                         RE: On coming out alison 02-07-01 11
                             RE: On coming out Jane N. 02-07-01 12
                             RE: On coming out on Tuesday Anneliese 02-07-01 13
                             RE: On coming out on Tuesday Ann Williams 02-07-01 14
                         RE: On coming out Caz 02-07-01 15
                             RE: On coming out Bruce Madmin 02-07-01 16

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pmeja

29-06-01, 11:31 AM (GMT)
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1. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #0
 
   well, caroline, i've always been under my real name, though not at the beginning for any noble purpose, just, i think, for laziness. but this makes me rethink the whole thing. one has to be careful to post thoughtfully and with full conviction and with the realization that if one says something silly or thoughtless, one will quickly be called to task for it. and yet you may also be called to task for a strongly-held opinion, so you've got to be ready to defend it too. so it is nice to meet you, regardless, and i'm very sorry about that whole other silly business of people pretending to be people they're not just (i assume) to cause the real ones grief.


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Brendan McCarthymoderator

29-06-01, 01:17 PM (GMT)
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2. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #1
 
   I rather like our Odettes and Sugar Plum Fairies. They add to the richness of the site. It is when people post controversially (or when they have a relevant interest) that it is important that they sign themselves properly. It's good ethics to do so.

The recent postings purporting to be from Clement Crisp and Matthew Bourne are deplorable. While the faux-Crisp postings could be dismissed as merely inept, they paved the way for something far more serious. Matthew Bourne has real grounds for complaint, as do the rest of us who write for ballet.co. This is a well-mannered site with a good standard of debate. Bruce runs it with great liberality and with the lightest of touches. He relies on the "virtual community", that makes up ballet.co's contributors, to be self-disciplining.

False posters, whoever you are, please stop it.


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alison

29-06-01, 01:32 PM (GMT)
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4. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #2
 
   I quite agree with the above. Consistency is what is most important. I realise that I nowadays sign myself with my first name only, but everyone who needs to knows who I am and how to identify me, and providing that I log in each time and use my password it's obvious that I must be who I say I am.

I can quite accept that various dance professionals (and I use the term to cover a very wide range of occupations, including critics) might not necessarily want to have their real names up here - for instance if they were being a little critical of matters involving their own company - and am quite happy for them to post under whatever alias they like, but if they were actually to register a specific alias and log in each time it would at least be easier to spot when the messages weren't genuine. I suppose that a problem could be that you tend to have your email address associated with the registration, but presumably that detail could be left out somehow? (Can you imagine someone like, say, Darcey Bussell, registering and then getting inundated with emails from fans because her address was accessible via ballet.co?).

So basically I'm happy with people using aliases, provided that they don't claim to be someone they're not, and that they don't abuse their anonymity to post damaging messages of any sort.


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Carly Gillies

29-06-01, 01:30 PM (GMT)
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3. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #0
 
   >
>
>>
>But I think I have grasped
>the concept. It is
>all to do with CONTINUITY.
>It does not matter what
>you call yourself, as
>long as fellow posters are
>able to refer and relate
>to you under that name.
>
Caroline, I think you make this argument well.
I think the actual name used is less important than having some identification andsome continuity of it.
I've never met any other ballet co posters, but I bet I'm not the only one to have an imagined image of some of them - in terms of appearance and personality. Wonder how close I'd be !


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Brendan McC

29-06-01, 01:45 PM (GMT)
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5. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #3
 
   >I've never met any other ballet
>co posters, but I bet
>I'm not the only one
>to have an imagined image
>of some of them -
>in terms of appearance
>and personality. Wonder how
>close I'd be !

A bit off the topic but when Carly posted on the Craine/Mackrell dictionary as follows;

"Nah, Chomsky would systematically call into question all of Craine, Mackrell, and Macauleys ulterior motives and hidden agendas, and go on to prove convincingly that the omission of 'Battement tendu' was part of a wider conspiracy with a trail right back to the World Bank.Mind you I never could get my head round his linguistic stuff !"

--I formed a pretty clear impression of what she was like (a bit like Kirsty Wark on Newsnight?). Is that close?


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carly gillies

29-06-01, 04:13 PM (GMT)
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6. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #5
 
   Well Brendan, It's a bit embarrassing to have an old posting trawled up - particularly one where I was trying to be smart, but as a Chomsky fan I couldn't resist responding when Stuart (i think it was) mentioned him !
Spookilly Kirsty and I are similar age, colouring and nationality (adopted in my case) and work about a mile from each other. I don't think I'm as nippy as her though !

PS I remembered that I have met one ballet coer (and serious Darcey fan)at Sadlers Wells at a White Oak performance. Apologies to the person concerned for the momentary lapse of memory.


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Caroline Ferreira

30-06-01, 09:19 AM (GMT)
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7. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #6
 
   'I've never met any other ballet
>co posters, but I bet
>I'm not the only one
>to have an imagined image
>of some of them -
>in terms of appearance
>and personality'

Audiences at ballet performances are always so varied but when someone interesting catches my eye I do wonder if perhaps that might be .............. from ballet.co.

I've always pictured Bruce as slim, harassed, energetic, piercing blue eyes, dark framed glasses and a mop of golden blonde hair falling across his forehead.... Eugene I imagine in a fashionable suit,checked shirt with interesting bow ties!


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Helen

30-06-01, 10:32 AM (GMT)
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8. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #7
 
   I'm not joining in with this discussion on how we imagine people, although I do have definite images - but I don't imagine either Bruce or Eugene in at all the same way as you do, so someone has to be wrong! You do get a rough idea of people's ages, by what they can remember.


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Caz

01-07-01, 11:19 PM (GMT)
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9. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #7
 
   >I've always pictured Bruce as
>slim, harassed, energetic, piercing blue
>eyes, dark framed glasses and
>a mop of golden blonde
>hair falling across his forehead....

Hmmm.... I wonder what Bruce makes of that?



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Bruce Madmin

02-07-01, 00:26 AM (GMT)
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10. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #9
 
   >>I've always pictured Bruce as
>>slim, harassed, energetic, piercing blue
>>eyes, dark framed glasses and
>>a mop of golden blonde
>>hair falling across his forehead....
>
>Hmmm.... I wonder what Bruce makes
>of that?


Sounds good to me! - certainly thats how I've always seen myself as well!!


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alison

02-07-01, 01:14 PM (GMT)
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11. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #10
 
   ... but obviously not when looking in a mirror


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Jane N.

02-07-01, 04:31 PM (GMT)
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12. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #11
 
   >... but obviously not when looking
>in a mirror


Oh, too cruel, Alison! You can always dream, Bruce (and resort to the peroxide!)


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Anneliese

02-07-01, 05:02 PM (GMT)
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13. "RE: On coming out on Tuesday"
In response to message #12
 
   Well, to continue this discussion in a slightly different vein, will I be able to meet any ballet.coers at the ROH tomorrow night?


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Ann Williams

02-07-01, 05:27 PM (GMT)
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14. "RE: On coming out on Tuesday"
In response to message #13
 
   Anneliese - I'll be there tomorrow. Send me an e-mail.


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Caz

02-07-01, 10:41 PM (GMT)
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15. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #10
 
   >>>I've always pictured Bruce as
>>>slim, harassed, energetic, piercing blue
>>>eyes, dark framed glasses and
>>>a mop of golden blonde
>>>hair falling across his forehead....
>>
>>Hmmm.... I wonder what Bruce makes
>>of that?
>
>
>Sounds good to me! - certainly
>thats how I've always seen
>myself as well!!


But Bruce, this description misses out your single most important feature! And you know what I'm talking about... :-D



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Bruce Madmin

02-07-01, 11:48 PM (GMT)
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16. "RE: On coming out"
In response to message #15
 
   >But Bruce, this description misses out
>your single most important feature!
>And you know what I'm
>talking about... :-D

Modesty, and available web space, forbids from listing out *all* my important features!


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